Brainstyles by Marlane Miller

Author:Marlane Miller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Francie, a very able entrepreneur in the custom jewelry business, had a customer that hadn’t paid his account for nearly a year. As she described it, she spent a lot of time rehearsing what she was going to say, then “let him have it.” In re-creating the scene, Francie said the customer saw the showdown this way: He knew she was “very upset,” her eyes were flashing and her cheeks got red. But still she chose her words carefully, calling the company (not him) “cheap.” She never really raised her voice or got out of control even though she was totally “fed up.” Francie had tried to prevent her fireworks by all means possible. She acted reasonably, appealed to her customer’s sense of fairness, was persistent, and used a great deal of patience, just waiting to see if he would figure out the “right thing to do” by himself. No such luck. She hated the whole situation, but once warmed up, armed with the facts, she just “went on adrenaline.” Only later was she really mad “at the situation” (feelings come later for Deliberators). She regretted not confronting him sooner, hated even having to confront him at all. It was not a happy ending, and it took a while to get over. He offered a settlement and she took it. “I had bills I had to pay, so I took the short-term answer. I didn’t have time to think,” she admitted. She wrote off the account, “cutting her losses rather than get obnoxious.” It “wasn’t worth it” to her to pursue any further—the pain outweighed the gain.

A crucial issue was central in Francie’s dealings: the ethics of keeping your word. Surely, of any brainstyle, Deliberators have a natural ability to be aware of and assess whether ethical standards are met or not. Francie decided a long time ago that if she said she was going to do something, she would do it. The man on the other side of the desk in the dispute, another Deliberator, had not made this decision. He used all the same skills to assess the situation and justify his own position, but disregarded their agreement. Deliberators are the ones to see all the shades of gray in a dispute. They can end up using facts to support any position. What can be crucial, then, is to have enough time to clarify what is really being decided in the beginning and, as Francie says now, “get it in writing.”

When a Deliberator executive in management found out some time later about the lapse in ethics, Francie’s adversary was fired and her entire bill was paid.

Another Deliberator, Ann, had more time to prevent problems. Ann served a term as president of a major Dallas charitable foundation for a year. As with most volunteer organizations, there were many political subgroups with different agendas and positions already in place as Ann took over leadership. Ann was very worried about potential conflict as she went into the new position. However, she

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